As a person, I've come to accept some limitations in my life. My ability to run for any length of time, my complete blindness without my glasses, and my ability to do any of these trending styles that I'm sure would change my life, align my chakras, and get me this job.
1. The Wash-and-Go
This hairstyle is a lie. A whole lie. Not half, not a third, but a whole lie. Everything about it is at odds with the reality of my hair, and it will probably give me a head cold. How dare you have me walking into my office looking like a wet Corbin Bleu.
2. Any 50's Style Pin Up Looks
Ahem.
This is literally impossible.
*pause*
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Look I get it, vintage is in, and some of these styles look so simple, but let's be real. It checks all of your boxes, requiring only the products and equipment that you already have (including enough bobby pins and Eco Styler gel to build Trump's wall). The only problem with this style is you. You simply do not have the length necessary to execute this properly. Save yourself the tears and frustration, and stick with the faux bangs you've been rocking since the freshmen year of college.
3. Anything Involving Putting In My Own Extensions
Do you enjoy destroying perfectly good bags of braiding hair? Did you just watch a Youtube video done by someone who has a toothbrush as part of their essential styling kit? Do you enjoy untangling Kanekalon bundles, while crying quietly, then not so quietly, on the couch? Do you have more banana clips, scrunchies, and money than you know what to do with? Then putting in your own extensions is for you!
1. The Wash-and-Go
This hairstyle is a lie. A whole lie. Not half, not a third, but a whole lie. Everything about it is at odds with the reality of my hair, and it will probably give me a head cold. How dare you have me walking into my office looking like a wet Corbin Bleu.
 |
| Like this, but drowned. |
Ahem.
This is literally impossible.
*pause*
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Look I get it, vintage is in, and some of these styles look so simple, but let's be real. It checks all of your boxes, requiring only the products and equipment that you already have (including enough bobby pins and Eco Styler gel to build Trump's wall). The only problem with this style is you. You simply do not have the length necessary to execute this properly. Save yourself the tears and frustration, and stick with the faux bangs you've been rocking since the freshmen year of college.
3. Anything Involving Putting In My Own Extensions
Do you enjoy destroying perfectly good bags of braiding hair? Did you just watch a Youtube video done by someone who has a toothbrush as part of their essential styling kit? Do you enjoy untangling Kanekalon bundles, while crying quietly, then not so quietly, on the couch? Do you have more banana clips, scrunchies, and money than you know what to do with? Then putting in your own extensions is for you!
Comments
Post a Comment